You tell me you were watching me. You were watching what Sir was doing to me. You saw the ropes, you saw the clamps. How did that make you feel? What was going through your head? Did you enjoy what you saw? Did it turn you on? When it was all done, did you have a smile on your face? Was your body hungry? Did you want it to never end?
I came home from work and this has been a week of high stress, anxiety, angry, frustration, and all the other shit that goes along with it.
By body is exhausted, but for some reason, tonight, while watching tv and drinking a glass of wine, I could feel the craving of my body. My body wanted to be fed so bad. I wanted to be touched and held. I wanted to feel someone kiss me tenderly and stroke my cheek.
Instead, I got out one of my toys. Not the one I wanted, but it worked. I was able to release the stress and anxiety, feeling better.
But here I am...
I have always enjoyed writing. It helps me express my feelings and release what is going on it my mind... body... and soul. I have so many feelings and emotions rushing through me and no way to express them. I write. I write about what is in my mind, what is in my heart, what I am stressed about, what I feel confused about. I don't always like how I feel or even who I am. I do not have the best view of myself or my body. I guess that, in my writing, I can feel good and not worry about what people think of my body or my looks. I have been told I am pretty, but I can't see that. My own body image is low and writing helps me to get past that, where I can be whoever I want to be and be as pretty as I want to be.
Writing is my outlet, my release...
I think about what you taught me and how you have made me your student. The thought about those feelings make my body crave the touch and power. I sit here, at my computer, typing this, as the thoughts and words make my pussy cry and tingle. I want to feel more. I want to feel the excitement. My body hungers as it thinks about the lessons you have taught and what I have learned. I close my eyes and imagine the touch and the feel as you caress and pet me. I close my eyes and let my body sigh, but only around the feelings of hunger.
I had to fight to hold back and behave myself. You made me behave, you made me refrain from feeling enjoyment. The build-up of enjoyment caused me so much pain and anxiety. I wanted to feel it. I wanted to feel so good. I wanted you to make me explode, letting out all the pent out desire. I had to listen to you, I knew it was my responsibility to obey you and do as I am told. I have never had to obey like this. Everything you have done has been so new to me. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I could feel the rush in my body. I wanted to explode. I saw you watching me. I saw your smile. I saw your pleasure.
Did you know, when you brought me to this, that it was my first time? That this would test my limits and push my sexuality? Did you enjoy watching me?
I wanted to feel you inside me. I wanted to feel the experience beyond what we had. As the rope bound my body, I could feel the pressures. The clamps pulled on my nipples, making them tender. But the sting of the clamps drove me insane. Such a rush. The feeling of the the ropes restraining me, the struggle, the excitement. The ropes rubbing against my pussy, oh so exciting. I know that the friction caused me to drip nectar, hungry to be taken. The thrill of the vibe pushed me, tested me. I wanted you so bad. I wanted to cum so bad.
Sir, I had a hard time behaving myself, I had a hard time obeying you, but I knew it would all be good.
After you released me from my bondage and let me sip of the wine, I knew that it wouldn't take but a slight touch of the vibrator to my clit to make me cry in desire. I put the vibe between my thighs, firmly against my clit, my chest arched upward, my body started to quiver, I gasped for breath, and my sexuality suddenly broke free, like a dam bursting. My body quivered and dancedon my mattress, as I feel the juices flow from me, until I collapse to the sheets. By body is exhausted as I close my eyes and imagine you being there with me, holding me close, as I drift off to sleep.
Thank you Sir.
I walk into the room and there you are, almost as if you were waiting for my arrival. I close the door as I catch my breath. The room is lit by several candles around the room. I take off my wet coat and hang it up next to the door, to dry. I don't see, but I can tell your eyes are watching me. "Welcome home" you say quietly, as you approach from the shadows. I smile as you move towards me. You are wearing a silky robe, tied around the waist. I am still dressed from work, in a short skirt, knit top, and my high heels.
You approach me and take me in your arms, pulling me close and kissing me tenderly.
After what seems like forever, you pull back and smile. "Wine?" you ask, your hands still resting on my hips.
"Sounds fabulous" I respond, following you into the kitchen.
As I lay in the darkness, my window open slightly, I feel a breeze come through my curtains.
There is a coolness on the wind, yet the sky is quiet. I wish it would rain. I wish it would thunder.
I miss the sounds of those that comfort me and let me know you are there. I seem to sleep better against the constant sound of the rain hitting down. The sound of thunder rumbles me to sleep. These sounds wraps their arms around me and make me feel safe and secure.
When those sounds hold me during a deep sleep, I feel you are holding me also.
I miss the thunder... I miss you...
I miss the times we are able to talk and laugh. You have been absent for such a time, longer than it had ever been before.
I wonder if you are upset with me, or if your life has gone in a different direction? Does the look and feel of my new "home" bother you, intimidate you? Do you feel wrong to be here with me? I wish I knew. I look for you and hope you visit.
I have never meant to say anything to turn you away. I have found a place where others are here also. Those around me are those who seem to understand and appreciate this side of life.
I am still very much "me" - the me you met all those years ago. You stood by and helped me write. You helped inspire me and helped me speak from my heart and soul.
I am so unsure of what I am feeling. I miss you and your visits. I was always hoping you would be here to continue your inspiration and smiles. If you don't, I understand. If your life has taken you elsewhere, my thoughts and prayers are here for you.
If you could go on a road trip with any person, dead or alive, who would it be and where would you go?
A road trip? Someone who makes me smile and laugh... and isn't afraid to listen to me sing to the radio. Go to? Anywhere with open land and sunshine.